Why Do I Keep Replaying That Conversation — Let Your Mind Rest With Gentle Meditation

The conversation ended hours ago, but somewhere in your mind it is still happening. You hear what you said, you imagined what you should have said. You wonder whether your words came out wrong or whether that small change in someone's expression meant something. For these next few minutes you can leave that conversation unfinished.

Welcome to Calming Anxiety. I'm Martin Hewlett. I'm a clinical hypnotherapist. And today, together, we're making a little more room between you and the conversation that the mind keeps playing. You don't have to work out what someone else was thinking. You don't have to find the perfect sentence that you could have used. But let's begin with wherever you are now. Find a comfy place to sit or lie down somewhere you can safely give yourself these few minutes. Let your eyes close, if that feels comfy. Notice the support beneath you. Allow the shoulders to settle just a little. Let the hands rest open. Start by noticing your breathing exactly as it is. There is no need to take a large breath or to fill the lungs completely. Let the next breath come gently and let it leave without pushing. If counting feels comfy, breathe in gently for three and out for four.

If it doesn't, let your breathing find its own easy rhythm. Breathing in two three breathing out two three four in two three out two three four. Let the jaw loosen a little more. Breathing in two three breathing out two three four and then let the muscles in your shoulders soften as the breath leaves you. Breathing in two three breathing out two three four there is nothing you need to solve during the breath. Breathing in two three breathing out two three four and once more just gently in two three out two three four. Now let go of the counting. Allow your breathing to return to its own natural rhythm. Your mind may bring back the conversation, a particular word, "Oh look, something you wish you had explained differently." When that happens, quietly notice I'm replaying it again. You don't need to criticize yourself for drifting back. Feel the support beneath you. Notice the next breath arriving. Notice it leaving. You can care about how you treat people without examining every word you say. You can leave the room for the possibility that the conversation was simply an ordinary, imperfect conversation for this breath. Allow it to rest to help you with these feelings.

Here are today's five powerful positive affirmations. Repeat each one quietly to yourself if it feels helpful. See the words in your mind's eye as I say them. Ready my friend? I can let a conversation end without solving every uncertainty. I am allowed to speak imperfectly and still deserve respect. I can be kind myself while I learn. I can bring my attention back to what is here now. I can leave this conversation alone for now. And still further into a mindful state of balance, a natural, translike state where you learn to let go as the negativity of your past and embrace all that you are and open your mind to the possibilities of tomorrow. Relax with every out breath. Allow the tension to simply melt away evaporating from the surface of your skin. Deeper and deeper with every out breath with every word I say. And then once more in the beauty of your imagination, imagine and repeat. I can let a conversation end without solving every uncertainty. I am allowed to speak imperfectly and still deserve respect. I can be kind myself while I learn. I can bring my attention back to what is here now. I can leave this conversation alone for now. And now simply be within this moment, feel your breathing, the gentle rise and form of every breath. Further and further into mindful tranquility. And to keep this sense of understanding and self-compassion with you, hear your three daily caring tips. One, separate what happened from what you imagined it meant. They were quiet, describe something you noticed. They must be annoyed with me is an interpretation. Give yourself permission to leave their thoughts unknown. Two, ask whether there is one useful action to take. Perhaps you need to clarify something or offer a simple apology. If there is, choose that one action. If there isn't, you can stop asking the replay to produce an answer. Three, give your attention somewhere gentle to land. Feel the warmth of your mug. Notice the sounds on a short walk. Spend a few minutes with someone you enjoy. When the conversation returns, gently come back to what you are doing.

Now time to tune in to the world around you. So take one more easy breath. Feel the support beneath you. Then wiggle your fingers and now your toes. Breathe in, hold and then as you breathe out, stretch out the arms and then roll the shoulders. And when you are ready, open your eyes. Thank you for spending these few minutes with me on calming anxiety. Don't forget, if you would like all of these sessions, they are over 2.5,000 now in one beautiful app where it is easy to find your perfect moment of calm. Please do download, Anchored: panic and anxiety. It is on iOS and Android. It is all free, although if you upgrade for only 5.99 a month, you get it advert free and then access to all of my books at bedtime and there is I think 80 books in there now. Perfect for falling asleep too. Have a lovely day my friend, truly, wherever you are, whatever you are doing in everything as always. Be kind.