Overthinking Everyone Else’s Feelings -- 10-Minute Guided Meditation for People-Pleasing

Do you find yourself overthinking other people's feelings? A change in their voice, a short reply, or a silence that leaves you wondering whether you've done something wrong? Perhaps you feel responsible for making sure everyone is okay even when you're already tied yourself. For these next few minutes you can let that checking settle.

You can care about people in your life while making a little room for yourself. Hi there. Welcome to Calming Anxiety. I'm Martin and this is your 10 minute guided meditation for people pleasing and the anxious thoughts that come with trying to keep everyone happy.

Before we get into it, please do consider downloading Anchored. It's my app with all of my shows over 2,500. My books at bedtime, the ambient night light, and the box breathing all there in your pocket for whenever you need it. Now find a comfy place where you can rest your attention safely.

Notice where the body meets the chair or the bed beneath you. Let your hands settle and allow a little softness around your jaw. There's no breathing pattern to get right today. Simply notice your natural breathing exactly as it is.

You don't need to take a bigger breath or hold anything. Just feel the air at your nostrils and the gentle movement of the almost hypnotic rhythm of the rise and form of every breath. If focusing on breathing feels uncomfortable, feel your feet on the floor or bed beneath you. As you breathe in, notice that you're here as you breathe out, allow your shoulders to settle the little.

But with every exhalation, imagine yourself drifting slowly, softly and safely into a natural trance like state. Deeper and deeper and deeper still. You might quietly name your thoughts about helping other people is worrying, then return to the next ordinary breath. You can listen to someone, offer support and take responsibility for your own actions.

You do not have to solve every feeling they experience. Perhaps you've been wondering how to stop overthinking what other think of you. For this moment, begin by noticing when your attention has moved into guessing.

Return to what you can feel beneath your hands or feet in your body. Notice the next breath arriving. Notice it leaving and whenever your attention wanders gently begin again.

Let this be a small practice in letting go of the pressure to please everyone. Nothing needs to change all at once. On the next natural out breath, simply repeat in your thoughts and see this word in your mind. Relax and allow yourself a deeper sense of release and unwinding.

So that in the space, in the sanctuary of your consciousness, you can visualize these five affirmations. You can see the words as I say them and then repeat them silently or out loud. Allow those words that thoughts the meaning to find their place within your subconscious.

So relax, unwind, imagine and repeat. I can soften my overthinking, one breath at a time.

I can practice healthy boundaries with kindness.

I can notice people pleasing and give myself time to choose.

I can care for others while respecting my own needs.

I can let an anxious thought pass without treating it as a fact.

And still, ever deeper, you allow yourself to drift further and further down and learn to love all that you are mind, body and soul. And then once more, within the beauty of your mind's eye, visualize these words and repeat.

I can soften my overthinking, one breath at a time.

I can practice healthy boundaries with kindness.

I can notice people pleasing and give myself time to choose.

I can care for others while respecting my own needs.

I can let an anxious thought pass without treating it as a fact.

And then, to take this sense of care, of self-compassion with you throughout the days, the weeks and months ahead, here are your three daily caring tips. One, before agreeing to something today, give yourself a little time, try saying let me check and get back to you.

Self-interpreting someone's mood asks, "What do I know and what am I guessing?"

Three, ask yourself, "What do I need today?" Choose one manageable act of care, a quiet cup of tea, a short walk or a few minutes away from the messages. Now begin to notice the room around you. Feel your feet, feel your hands, gently wiggle your fingers and toes.

Take a nice, easy breath in, hold it at the top for a moment and then as you breathe out, roll as strail as and stretch out the arms. And when you're ready, gently open your eyes. You can return to your day with care for others and a little bit more kindness towards yourself. For more guided meditations, for anxiety, for day to day stress, you can find my anchored app at calminganxiety.org/anchored or there's a direct link within the show notes that you're listening to to iOS and Android.

The free instant calm features are there for moments like this. Thank you for spending these few minutes with me. You can go now. I have another thought to bring to you.

In December, I'm bringing out a whole body and mind app. It's simply called Thole THOLE. If you'd like to try it, please head over to thole.appt T H O L E . A P P It's all free, it just helps me iron out any bugs. But if you're looking to get fit after Christmas or even now, it's my whole life's work as a martial arts instructor, an international competitor.

It blends together food, diet, training plans, a barcode scanner and also has this podcast in it as well for when you're a bit stressed. Take care my friend. This is about you discovering your best self. Have a lovely day and to your soul be kind.