Why Does Breathing Feel Harder the More I Try - A Gentle Meditation for Breathing Anxiety

You try to take one satisfying breath, then another, and instead of feeling calmer, you find yourself watching every breath, wondering why it still doesn't feel quite right. And that can be exhausting. For the next few minutes, there is nothing to perfect. We're going to make room for a gentle approach.

Welcome to calming anxiety. I'm your host Martin, clinical hypnotherapist and paramedic for over 20 years. And before we begin, breathlessness as many causes. If yours is new, unexplained or getting worse, please seek medical help.

Now, find somewhere comfy to sit with your back supported, let your hands rest wherever they feel comfy. Keep your eyes open or gently close them. Notice the support beneath you. You don't have to make yourself relax.

Just notice where you might soften a little. Maybe you're jaw, your hands, or your shoulders. When your breathing becomes something we worry about, it can begin to feel like a task we have to get right. Was that breath enough?

Should I try again? Why hasn't the feeling gone yet? Today, we're stepping away from that test. We'll try a gentle breath out through soft, per-slips as if you are cooling a warm drink.

Then let an idiot breath come in through the nose. Ready? There's no pushing, no need to empty your lungs first. Allow the breath to flow in naturally.

And then, together, out, softly unhurried through per-slips.

The out breath can be a little longer than the in-breath if that feels easy. There is no number you need to reach. Another comfy breath in and then gently out through the lips.

Let your shoulders soften a little more. Another gentle breath in and a soft breath out. This feels uncomfortable or makes you dizzy or increases your anxiety. Just stop the exercise and allow your breathing to return to its normal pattern.

You can simply listen. Fill your feet on the floor, fill your hand. Now let go of the technique. Let your lips relax and allow your breathing to find its own perfect rhythm.

Bring some attention to the room around you. Maybe notice the sound of the world outside. Fill the contact between your hands and whatever they're resting on. There is more happening in this moment than the sensation that you've been monitoring.

A room, a world around you. The support beneath you. My voice, keeping you company. You do not have to check whether this is working.

You don't have to feel completely calm to give yourself a moment of kindness. If the thought returns, I need to take a proper breath. Notice it gently. There's that thought again.

And return to the feeling of your feet or the sound of the room. No argument with yourself, no criticism of finding this difficult. Just another place for your attention to rest. To ease your mind and body over the next few hours and days.

Here are your five affirmations. Repeat them quietly in your own mind if they feel helpful. Think them externally if you wish, but visualize them. So with every out breath, imagine and repeat.

I can approach this moment with patience. I do not have to force my breathing. I can let my shoulders soften. I can notice the world around me.

I deserve kindness even when this feels difficult.

Now allow those words to settle. You don't have to turn them into another task. Maybe one of them felt more useful than the others today. So allow that one to land just a little bit deeper.

Stay with those thoughts for a moment, feeling the support again beneath you. And then once more my friend. In the beauty, the solitude of your own song, visualize and repeat.

I can approach this moment with patience. I do not have to force my breathing. I can let my shoulders soften. I can notice the world around me.

I deserve kindness even when this feels difficult.

And then deeper, and deeper, with every out breath, with every beat of your beautiful heart.

As you learn to love all that you are, discarding the negative anchors of your past, the mistakes and regrets, and moving forward in this day with only the knowledge gained, and a new sense of how you think, feel and react, relax and unwind.

And then take with you your three daily caring tips. One, when you notice yourself repeatedly checking your breath, gently shift some attention into your surroundings, feel your feet and the floor, and name three things that you can see. Two, give yourself a comfortable place to rest. Support your back, let your arms settle, and ease any closing that feels restrictive.

Three, choose one gentle activity that gives your attention somewhere else to go. Listen to familiar music, stroke your pet, or sit with someone you trust. There is no need to wait until you feel perfectly calm. Now softly and gently, begin to notice the room around you more fully.

Move your fingers, move your toes. Take a deep breath in, hold at the top, roll the shoulders, breathe out and stretch out the arms, and let your eyes open when you are ready, if they have been closed. You have given yourself a few minutes without demanding a perfect result, and that is enough at this moment. If you would like another gentle session, look for Breathe With Me in the calming anxiety episode of the day.

Don't forget my free guide, 5 Things to Try When Anxiety Hits is there to download at calminganxiety.org/calm. That's calminganxiety.org/calm. Take care of yourself today. Really, I'll be here with you to reconnect with again tomorrow.

So in everything, especially to all that you are, be kind.