I'm Fine, But I'm Exhausted — A 10-Minute Meditation for High-Functioning Anxiety

This is calming anxiety. I'm your host Martin, clinical hypnotherapist, and before that, a paramedic. You were fine all day. You answered the messages. You held the meeting. You asked after somebody's mother, and you meant it. You were, by every measure, anyone could see. Absolutely fine. And then you get in your car, or shut the front door behind you. You sit down on the edge of the bed with your coat still on, and the whole thing came down at once. And you thought, where has all my energy gone? I didn't even do anything today. My friend, you did do something today. You held yourself together. You kept going. You kept smiling. You kept being there that everybody else, and holding that face and play all day takes energy. Tonight is for you. The person everybody thinks is coping. This episode is sponsored by Ankit, my own app. There's a particular reason I want to mention it tonight. When you've spent the whole day being watched, being read, being assessed, being fine for other people, the last thing you need is another place where you have to perform. Ankit is private. No account. No profile, no name. Nobody is keeping score. You simply open it and listen. And that's what these ten minutes are for too. Nobody's here. Nobody's looking. You don't have to be fine for anybody. You can stop now. I want you to notice something before we start. Put your hand flat just below your collarbones. Feel that area. People who spend their days holding everything together can sometimes find themselves breathing in small, shallow ways, high in the chest. So tonight, we'll practice something different. We're going to let the breath out. This is the extended exhale. Four in, eight out, in through the nose, out through the mouth.

You do not have to force relaxation. You don't have to make anything happen. So breathe with me in through the nose now. Breathe in to three, four and out through the mouth, slow and long, like a sigh you've been saving by six, seven, eight. And this time, if it feels comfortable, let the out breath make a tiny sound that no one can hear. Breathe in two, three, four, out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Good. That's it. And on this round, let your face go. Not a relaxed expression, just no expression at all. Ready? Breathe in two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Let the jaw hang slightly open. Let the tongue rest. Allow your shoulders to drop. Let's do this again. Breathe in two, three, four, release, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. And now let your breathing return to its own natural rhythm. Maybe notice how much of you was being held up by the things you weren't even aware you were doing, the smile, the posture, the listening and the answering, the pretending that everything was absolutely fine. It all takes energy. It's no wonder you're tired. Now as we move forward, imagine a warm, golden light. Amber, low, the last hours of a summer evening and it begins at the crown of your head. And as it flows downwards, it doesn't tidy you up, it doesn't make you presentable. It's simply warms whatever is actually there, the tiredness, the tension, the part of you that you've been hiding from everyone else. And then say these quietly with me in your own mind. I am exhausted from pretending I'm fine. Holding it together every day is work in itself. My tiredness is real. I am allowed to rest. Anxiety can exist underneath a capable exterior. I do not have to prove that I'm struggling before I deserve kindness. And then relax your mind, your thoughts, your body and soul with every out breath. Imagine sinking deeply, heavily into the surface beneath you. Every out breath, bringing a deeper sense of calmness, of clarity and self-compassion. And then once more, within the beauty of your mind, imagine these words and repeat. I do not have to fall apart in order to deserve rest. I do not have to earn the right to be cared for. I am allowed to receive care, even though I am the one usually giving it. The version of me that other people see is real, but it isn't all of me.

There is more to me than the face I show the world. And now, drift, my friend, calmly, serenely, loving all that you are. And in this moment of connection, take with you today's three daily caring tips. One, tomorrow, when someone asks you how you are, answer just a little more honestly and fine. You don't have to tell them everything. Try a bit tied actually, and notice that the world doesn't end. Two, give yourself ten minutes of unwatched times somewhere in the middle of your day. Not when everything else is finished. Before then, sit quietly in the car for ten minutes counts. You don't have to warn those ten minutes. Three, tonight, before you sleep. Name one thing you did that nobody noticed. Something kind, something difficult. Something you simply kept going through. And let yourself be the person who noticed. Now let's come back into the space around you. Wiggle your fingers and your toes. Let a deeper breath arrive on its own, breathing in, holding at the top, and as you exhale, stretch out the arms and legs. And then gently open your eyes. Feel the chair or the bed beneath you. Feel the room. Thank you. But don't forget, there is a person underneath all of this, and that person needs looking after too. If this helped you today, anchored is there whenever you need somewhere private to breathe. Listen and simply be. It's on iOS, there's a link in the show notes. It comes out in a couple of weeks on Android as well. If you enjoyed it, please do leave a review. It helps more people find their moment of calm. Thank you. Sleep well, my friend. You don't have to carry everything tonight. I'll be here, right with you again tomorrow. So in everything, in every thought, word indeed, be kind.