Failed Resolutions? The Gentle Way to Restart

Hi there and welcome to the calming anxiety podcast. Today a resolution hangover, how to stop the shame spiral when we give up on those plans. This is your daily sanctuary.

I'm Martin, I'm a clinical hypnotherapist, so if you're listening to this, it's likely that the shiny frantic energy of the new year has now started to fade. The decorations are gone, the sky is grey and perhaps just maybe you feel like you have already stumbled.

Maybe you've missed a few days at the gym or you broke a promise you made to yourself on January 1st and now that heavy cold blanket of guilt is starting to settle on your shoulders.

If that is you, I want you to know you're in the right place, you haven't ruined your year, you have simply proven one fact, you are human. So for the next 10 minutes, we aren't going to push harder, we aren't going to shout at ourselves to do better, we are simply going to hit the soft reset button. So please, find your quiet place now, somewhere where you can sit or lie down, somewhere you can put down the heavy baggage of expectations. Let's begin by acknowledging the physical weight of that guilt. Often when we feel we failed, we tighten our jaw, we hunch our shoulders, we hold our breath. So I want you to take a deep, exaggerated breath in through your nose, hold it for a second and then let it out with a heavy, audible sigh. Just let it go. Let's do that again, breathe in deeply and as you sigh out, imagine you're unbuckling a heavy backpack that you've been carrying for the last two weeks. That backpack is full of the sheds and the masts and perfection. Imagine hearing that heavy bag hit the floor, you really don't need to carry it right now. Imagine your shoulders drop now by two inches, filling your neck lengthen. You are safe here. You are allowed to rest. Now, keeping your eyes closed and your breath steady, I want you to use your imagination. I want you to visualize yourself standing on the safe, grassy bank of a gentle river. The air is cooled in fresh, the grass soft beneath your feet. And in front of you, this river flows steadily, moving from your left to your right. The river represents time, the water flowing away to your right, is the past, that is the last few weeks. That is the mist workouts, the broken diet, the anxious moments. Watch the water flow away. Notice that there are debris in the water, maybe fallen leaves or twigs. These represent those mistakes that you are beating yourself up about. Notice how fast they move away from you. You cannot run after them, you cannot catch them. And even if you could, you don't need to drink at-hold water. Let it go, let it drift around the bend, and out of sight. Now I want you to turn your head, look up stream to your left, look at the water coming towards you. This water is crystal clear, it is fresh, it hasn't touched anything yet. This is your future, this is the next hour, the next day, the next breath. It is pure potential, it doesn't care about what happened yesterday, it is just waiting for you to step into it. As you breathe in this clean fresh air, I want you to offer yourself some forgiveness, you cannot shame yourself into changing, you can only love yourself into growing. So in your mind's eye, or whispering softly to yourself, repeat these words after me, maybe imagining them on the banks of the river.

I forgive myself for being human. I am not defined by a bad day.

I release the need to be perfect. I am ready to begin again.

Wonderful, take another deep breath in, exhale any remaining stress, and let's repeat them once more. I forgive myself for being human. I am not defined by a bad day.

I release the need to be perfect. I am ready to begin again. Feel the truth of those words settling into your chest, warming you up from the inside out. The pressure is gone.

And now as you look at that clear water flowing towards you, I want you to think of just one small thing, not a big mountain to climb, just a tiny pebbling. What is one small act of kindness you can do for yourself today? Maybe it's drinking a glass of water, maybe a five minute walk, or simply going to bed early. Imagine yourself doing this one small thing, feeling the satisfaction of it, that is enough, that is how you start again, not with a bang, but with one small gentle step. You are doing so well, you are now back on track, not because you are forcing it, but because you have cleared apart. Now bring your awareness back to your body, feel the surface beneath you, gently wiggle your fingers and toes, take it deep, energizing breath in, filling your lungs with that fresh clear potential and exhale.

Maybe stretch out the muscles in your arms and when you are ready, open your eyes.

Thank you for listening to calming anxiety, for putting your faith and trust in all that I do. If you know someone who is being hard on themselves right now, please share this with them and as always my friend, smile often to yourself and in every thought, word and deed, be kind.