I'm on My Own Again Tonight - Being Alone Isn't Being Unloved - 10 Minute Meditation

The house is quiet. You've checked your phone more times than you would admit to anyone, nothing new. And there is a small ache underneath the ribs that isn't quite sadness and isn't quite fear. Somewhere out there, you imagine, everyone else is with someone, laughing, busy, and here you are. I want you to hear something before we go any further, my friend. Loneliness is not a character flaw. It is not evidence that something is wrong with you. It is simply a signal. As old and as ordinary as hunger or thirst, your nervous system evolved in groups and when it senses distance from the herd, it turns up the volume. It makes you more alert, more watchful, sometimes more anxious. That is not weakness. That is biology doing its job just a little too well. But that signal can be seized. So this is our focus today, loneliness, being on your own tonight, without being at war with it. Hi there, I'm Martin, this is calming anxiety. Whatever kind of day this has been, you and I have the next 10 minutes together. You're not doing this alone. Just before we lie down, a quick word about my app, anchored, and tonight about one thing in particular, anchored is completely private. There is no account to make, there is no profile, no friends lists, no followers, nobody to perform for. Nobody sees what you listen to or what you listen to at 11 o'clock the last night, or that you played the same session three times. Because the thing you reach for when you're low should never ask you to explain yourself first. What you need is yours and it stays yours. And that's anchored. Search for anchored wherever you get your apps. Now let's breathe together. Tonight, before 7/8 breathing, we inhale deeply for four. You hold for seven and then out for eight. Now you may have met this breath before a sleep technique. Tonight we're using it differently, sitting up, eyes soft, one hand resting on your heart. Because tonight is not about sleeping, it's about soothing your soul. And there's something else. Putting your hand flat on your chest and you add a little pressure of warmth. The same touch you'd offer a frightened child. The skin sends that straight to the brain as safety. It's simply called the soothing touch and it works. So sit comfy. Both feet on the floor if you can. Feel the weight of your hand over your heartbeat.

Put your lungs with a soft sigh and then with me. Breathe in to three, four, hold two, three, four, five, six, seven, release, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Beautiful. Ready?

Let's do another round together. One more, and this time, the out breath. Feel the warmth of your hand, spreading outwards over your chest. Breathe in to three, four, hold two, three, four, five, six, seven, breathe out, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. And just relax now. Ever deeper, letting your breath find its own beautiful natural rhythm. You've just given your own nervous system. The message it was waiting for. Somebody is here and that someone is you to connect with all that you are now. Say these words with me. Feel them on your tongue. Let the echo of them become part of all that you are. I am safe. I am here.

And there is nothing to fear right now. Being alone tonight is not the same as being unloved. I am good company. I can keep myself company. I release the story that I am the only one. Right now, in this moment, thousands of people are listening to this with me.

We are alone together and that is my company. My loneliness is a signal, not a sentence. It can soften as it is soften before. Tomorrow, I will reach out to one person tonight. I will reach out to one person tonight. I will reach out to one person tonight. I will reach out to one person tonight. Within this moment of peace, visualize once more and repeat. Being alone tonight is not the same as being unloved. I release the story that I am the only one.

Right now, in this moment, thousands of people are listening to this with me. Relax now.

And in this moment of clarity, of reuniting mind, body and soul in harmony, here are your three daily caring tips. One, send one short message tomorrow to someone you've been meaning to contact. No explanation for the silence needed, simply thinking of you. Two, put something with a heartbeat or a human voice in the room tonight. A radio program podcast, a film you know well so that the quiet has texture in it. And three, book one thing in the diary this week that puts you in the same room as other people, even if you say nothing to any of them, a class, a cafe, a walk on a busy path. Now let's come back gently. Take your hand from your chest and feel the air cool where it was. Wiggle your fingers and your toes. Roll your shoulders once, feel the floor solid underneath your feet. Breathe then, hold and then as you exhale, stretch out the arms and legs. And when you're ready, no hurry. Let your eyes open and come back into the room. The room is a little softer than it was ten minutes ago. You showed up for yourself tonight, my friend. That is no small thing. This is everything. When I was in my darkest, loneliest places, I remember shopping in the supermarket at midnight to avoid people yet to connect with people. I was never truly alone and nor are you. If tonight help, find us in anchored, it's quiet in there, it's private and it's waiting whenever you need it. And if somebody comes to mind while I say this, someone whose house is quiet too, send them this episode. That message might be the only voice they hear today. Be gentle with yourself. You're not alone in this. I'll be right here with you again tomorrow, but to your soul, be kind.