Alice in Wonderland Chapter 11

Books at bedtime, Alice in Wonderland, Chapter 11, who stole the tarts. The king and queen of hearts were seated on their throne when they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them. All sorts of little birds and animals, as well as the whole pack of cards. The nave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard him, and near the king was the white rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand and a scroll of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large dish of tarts upon it. They looked so good that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them. "I wish they'd get the trial done," she thought, and hand around the refreshments. But there seemed to be no chance of this, so she began looking about her to pass away the time.

The king was the judge, and as he wore his crown over his wing, he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming. That's the jury box, though, Alice, and whose twelve creatures she was obliged to say creatures, you see, because some of them were animals and some were birds. I suppose they are all jurors. She said this last word two or three times over to herself, being rather proud of it, for she thought, and rightly too, that very few little girls of their age knew the meaning of it at all. However, jurymen would have done just as well.

The twelve jurors were all writing very busy on slates. "What are they doing?" Alice whispered to the griffin. "They can't have anything to put down yet before the trials began." "They're putting down their names," said the griffin, whispering in reply, "for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial." Stupid things, Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she stopped hastily for the white rabbit cried out, "Silence in the court," and the king put on his spectacles and looked anxiously around to make out who was talking. Alice could see as well as if she were looking over their shoulders, for all the jurors were writing down stupid things on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them didn't know how to spell stupid, and that he had to ask the neighbor to tell him, "A nice muddle there slates will be before the trials over for Alice." One of the jurors had a squeaking pencil. This, of course, Alice could not stand, so she went round the court and got behind him, and very soon found an opportunity of snatching it away. He did it so quickly that the poor little juror, it was Bill, the lizard, could not make out a tall water become of it, so after hunting all about for it he was obliged to write with one finger for the rest of the day, and this was very little use, as it left no mark on the slate at all.

Herald read the accusation said the king, "On this the white rabbit blew three blasts of the trumpet, and then unrolled the parchment's scroll, unread as follow." The queen of hearts, she made some tarts, all on a summer's day, the nave of hearts, he stole those tarts and took them quite away. Consider your verdict the king said to the jury, not yet the rabbit hastily interrupted, there's a great deal to come before that. Call the first witness said the king, and the white rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out first witness. The first witness was the hatter, he came in with a tea-cumping one hand, and a piece of bread and butter in the other. "I beg pardon your majesty," he began, "for bringing these in, but I hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for them." "You ought to have finished said the king, when did you begin?"

The hatter looked at the marcher, who had followed him into court, but arm in arm with the door-mouse. "Watteenth of March I think it was," he said. "Fifteenth said the marcher, sixteenth said the door-mouse." "Write that down," the king said to the jury, and the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slate, and then added them up, and then reduced the number to shillings and pens. "Take off your hat," the king said to the hatter. "It isn't mine," said the hatter, "stolen," the king exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly made a memorandum of the fact. "I keep them for sale," the hatter added as an explanation. "I've none of my own, I'm a hatter." "Here, the queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the hatter, who turned pale and fitted it with his feet. "Give your evidence," said the king, and don't be nervous, or I'll have you executed on the spot." This did not seem to encourage the witness at all. He kept shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the queen, and in his confusion, he bit a large piece out of the teacup instead of the bread and butter. Just at this moment, Alice felt a curious sensation, which puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was. She was beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she would get up and leave the court, but on second thoughts, she decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for her. "I wish she wouldn't squeeze so," said the door-mouse, who was sitting next to her, "I can hardly breathe. I can't help it," said Alice Meekley. "I'm growing."

"You have no right to grow here," said the door-mouse. "Loncens," said Alice more boldly. "You know you're growing, too." "Yes, but I'm growing at a reasonable pace," said the door-mouse. Not in this ridiculous fashion, and he got up very self-clean, crossed over to the other side of the court. All this time, the queen had never left off staring at the hatter, and just as the door-mouse crossed the court, she said to one of the officers of the court, "bring me the list of the singers in the last concert of which the wretched had to tremble so that he shook both his shoes off. Give your evidence, the king repeated angrily, or I'll have you executed whether you're nervous or not.

"I'm a poor man, your majesty," the hatter began in a trembling voice, and I hadn't begun my tea, not above a weak or so, and what would the bread and butter getting so thin and the twinkling of the tea? But twinkling of the waltz said the king? It began with the tea the hatter replied. "Of course twinkling begins with the tea," said the king, sharply. "Do you take me for a dance? Go on." "I'm a poor man, the hatter went on, and most things twinkling called after that. Only the march hair said I didn't," the march hair hastily interrupted. "You did," said the hatter. "I denied," said the march hair. "He denied it," said the king. "Leave that part out." "Well, at any rate," the dormouse said. The hatter went on looking anxiously around to see if it would deny it, too, but the dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep. After that continued the hatter, "I cut some more bread and butter." "What did the dormouse say?" said one of the jory. "That I can't remember," said the hatter. "You must remember," remarked the king, "Grow, have you executed?" The miserable hatter dropped his tea cup and bread and butter and went down on one knee. "I'm a poor man, your majesty," he began. "You're a very poor speaker," said the king.

Here, one of the guinea pigs cheered and was immediately suppressed by the officers of the cord. As that is rather a hard word, I would just explain to you how it was done. They had a large canvas bag which tied up the mouth with strings. Into this they slipped the guinea pig, head first, and then sat upon it.

"I'm glad I've seen that done, for tell us. I've so often read in the newspapers at the end of trials, but there was some attempt to deploys which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the cord, and I've never understand what it meant till now." If that's all you know about it, you may stand down, continued the king. "I can't go no lower," said the hatter. "I'm on the floor as it is." Then you may sit down, the king replied.

"Here, the other guinea pig cheered and was suppressed. Come, that finishes the guinea pigs, so Alice, now we shall get on better." "I'd rather finish my tea," said the hatter, with an anxious look at the queen who was reading the list of singers. "You may go," said the king, "and the hatter hurriedly left the cord, without even waiting to put his shoes on." And just take his head off outside the queen added to one of the officers, but the hatter was out of sight before the officer could get to the door. "Call the next witness," said the king. The next witness was the duchess's cook. She carried the pepper box in her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before she came into court, by the way people near the door began sneezing all at one. "Give your evidence," said the king, "shant," said the cook.

"The king looked anxiously at the white rabbit who said in a low voice, your majesty must cross-examine this witness." "Well, if I must," I must said the king, with a melancholy air, and after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, "what? Our tarts made of." "Pepper," mostly said the cook, "triekel," said a sleepy voice behind her. "Call that door mouse," the queen shrieked out, "behead that door mouse, turn that door mouse out of court," said, press him, pinch him, off with his whiskers. "For some minutes, the whole court was in confusion, getting the door mouse turned out, and by the time they had settled down again, the cook at this appeared. "Never mind," said the king, with an air of great relief. "Call the next witness," and he added in a whisper to the queen, "really my dear, you must cross-examine the next witness, it makes my forehead a." "Alice watched the right rabbit, as he fumbled over the list, feeling very curious what the next witness would be, but they haven't got much evidence yet," she said to herself. Imagine her surprise when the rabbit read out at the top of the shrill little voice, the name "Alice."