The Magician's Heart by E Nesbit

Books at bedtime by Calming Anxiety, the Magicians Heart by E. Nesbit.

We all have our weaknesses. Mine is Moulbury's. You all's perhaps motorcars. Professor Takens was Christening's Royal Christening's. He was always expected to be asked by the Christening parties of all the Royal Little Babies. And of course he never was because he was not a Lord or a Duke or a Sallow of Bacon and Tea or anything really high class but merely a wicked magician who by economy and strict attention to customers had worked up a very good business of his own. He had not always been wicked. He was born quite good I believe and his old nurse who had long since married a farmer and retired into the calm of country life. Always used to say that he was the duckiest little boy in a played frock with the dearest little fat legs but he had changed since he was a boy as a good many other people do. Perhaps it was his trade. Ideas say you've noticed that coblers are usually thin and brewers are usually generally fat and Magicians are almost always wicked. Well his weakness for Christening's grew stronger and stronger because it was never indulged and at last he took the bull into his own hands as the Irish footman at the palace said and went to a christening without being asked. It was a very grand party given by the king of the fortunate islands and the little prince was christened for tunitus. No one took any notice of professor taken. They were too polite to turn him out but they made him wish he'd never come. He felt quite an outsider as indeed he was and this made him furious so that when all the bright light laughing fairy godmothers were crowding round the blue satin cradle and giving gifts of beauty and strength and goodness to the baby. The Magician suddenly did a very difficult charm in his head like you do a mental arithmetic and said young 40 may be all that but I say he shall be the stupidest prince in the world and on that he vanished in a puff of red smoke with a smell like the fifth of November in a back garden on Stretemhill and as he left no address the king of the fortunate islands couldn't prosecute him for high treason. Taken was very glad to think that he had made such a lot of people unhappy. The whole court was in tears when he left including the baby and he looked in the papers for another royal christening so that he could go to that and make a lot of more people miserable and there while there was one fixed for the very next Wednesday the Magician went to that one too disguised as a wealthy this time the baby was a girl taken kept close to the pink velvet cradle and when all the nice qualities in the world had been given to the princess he suddenly said little aura maybe all that but I say she shall be the ugliest princess in all the world and instantly she was it was terrible and she had been such a beautiful baby too everyone had been saying that she was the most beautiful baby they had ever seen this sort of thing is often said at christening's having a glorified the unfortunate little princess the Magician did the spell in his mind just as you do your spellings to make himself vanish but to his horror there was no red smoke no smell of fireworks and there he was still where he now very much wish not to be because one of the fairies there had seen just one second too late to save the princess what he was up to and had made a strong little charm in a great hurry to prevent him vanishing this berry was a white witch and of course you know that white magic is much stronger than black magic as well as more suited for drawing room performances so there the Magician stood looking like a thunder struck peg as someone unkindly said and the dear white witch bent down and kissed the baby princess there she said she can keep that kiss till he wanted when the time comes you'll know what to do with it the Magician can't vanish sire you would better arrest him arrest that person said the king pointing to taken I suppose your charms are of a permanent nature madam quite said the fairy at least they never go till there's no longer any use for them so the Magician was shut up in a enormously high tower and allowed to play with magic but none of his spells could act outside the tower so he was never able to pass the extra double guard that watched outside night and day the king would have liked to have the Magician executed but the white witch warned him that this would never do don't you see she said he's the only person who can make the princess beautiful again and he'll do it someday but don't you go asking him to do it he'll never do anything to oblige you he's just that sort of man so the years rolled on the Magician stayed in the tower and did magic and was very bored for it is dull to make white rabbits out of your hat and your hat out of nothing when there is no one to see you prince fortuneettus was such a stupid little boy that he got lost quite early in the story and went about the country saying his name was James which it wasn't a baker's wife found him and adopted him and sold the diamond buttons on his little overcoat for three hundred pounds and as she was a very honest woman she put two hundred away for James to have when he grew up the years rolled on aura continued to be hideous and she was very unhappy till on her 20th birthday her married cousin Belinda came to see her now Belinda had been made ugly in her cradle too so she could sympathize as no one else could but I got out of it all right and so will you said Belinda I'm sure the first thing to do is to find a magician father banished them all 20 years ago said aura behind her veil all but the one who uglified me then I should go to him said beautiful Belinda dress up as a beggar maid and give him 50 pounds to do it not more nor he may suspect that you're not a beggar maid it will be great fun I'd go with you only I promise Belamant faithfully that I'd be home to lunch and off she went in her mother of pearl coach leaving aura to look through the bound volumes of the perfect lady in the palace library to find out the proper costume for a beggar maid now that very morning the magician's old nurse had packed up a ham and some eggs and some honey and some apples and a sweet bunch of old fashioned flowers and borrowed the baker's boy to hold the horse for her and started off to see the magician it was 40 years since she'd seen him but she loved him still and now she thought she could do him a good turn she asked in the town for his address and learned that he lived in the black tower but you would best be careful the town's folk said he's a spiteful chap bless you said the old nurse he won't hurt me as I nursed him when he was a babe in a played frock with the dearest little fat legs ever you see so she got to the tower and the guard let her through taken was almost pleased to see her remember he had no visitors between two years and he was quite pleased to see the ham and the honey but where did I put them eggs said the nurse and the apples I must have left them at home after all she had but the magician just waived his hands in the air and there was a basket of apples that hadn't been there before the egg he took out of her bonnet the folds of her shawl and even from his own mouth just like a conjure it does only of course he was a real magician law she said it's like magic it is magic said he that's my trade it's quite a pleasure to have an audience again I've lived here alone for 20 years it's very lonely especially of an evening can't you get out said the nurse no kings orders must be respected but it's a dog's life he sniffed made himself a magic handkerchief out of empty air and wiped his eyes taken a apprentice my dear said the nurse and teach him magic not me suppose you got one so stupid he couldn't learn that would be all right but it's no use advertising for a stupid person you'd get no answers you'd need an advertise said the nurse and she went out and brought in James who was really the prince of the fortunate islands and also the baker's boy she had brought with her to hold the horse's head now James she said you'd like to be a apprentice wouldn't you yes said the poor stupid boy then give the gentleman your money James James did my last out vanish said the magician he is stupid nurse let us celebrate the occasion with a little drop of something not before the boy because of setting an example James wash up not here silly in the back kitchen so James washed up and he was very clumsy he happened to break a little bottle of essence of dreams that was on the shelf and instantly they floated up from the washing up water the vision of a princess more beautiful in the day so beautiful that even James could not help seeing how beautiful she was and holding out his arms to her as she came floating through the air above the kitchen sink but when he held out his arms she vanished he sighed and washed up harder than ever I wish I wasn't so stupid he said and then there was a knock at the door James wiped his hands and opened someone stood there in the very picturesque racks and tatas please said someone who was of course the princess is professor taken at home walk in please said James my snakes alive said taken what a day we're having three visitors in one morning how kind of all you to call won't you take a chair I hoped said the veiled princess that you'd give me something else to take a glass of wine said taken you'll take a glass of wine no thank you said the beggar maid who was the princess then take take your veil off said the nurse or you don't feel the benefit of it when you go out I can't say Dora it wouldn't be safe too beautiful said the magician still you're quite safe here and you do magic she said abruptly a little said he ironically well said she I'd like this I'm so ugly no one can bear to look at me and I want to get as a kitchen maid to the palace they want to cook an escullion and a kitchen maid I thought perhaps you'd give me something to make me pretty I'm only a poor beggar maid it would be a great thing to me if go along with you said taken very cross-entied I never give to beggars here's two pence whispered poor James pressing it into her hand it's all I've got left thank you she whispered back you are good and to the magician she said I happen to have fifty pounds I'll give it to you for a new face done cried taken here's another stupid one he grabbed the money waved his wand and then and there before the astonished eyes of the nurse and the apprentice the ugly beggar maid became the loveliest princess in the world law cried the nurse my dream cried the apprentice please said the princess can I have a looking glass the apprentice ran to one hook the one that hung over the kitchen sink and handed it to her oh she said how very pretty I am how can I thank you quite easily said the magician beggar maid as you are I hear by off you my hand and heart he put his hand into his waistcoat and pulled out his heart it was fat and pink and the princess did not like the look of it thank you very much she said but I'd rather not but I insist said taken but really your offer most handsome I'm sure said the nurse my affections are engaged said the princess looking down I cannot marry you am I to take this as a refusal ask taken and the princess said she feared that it was very well then he said I shall see you home and ask your father about it he'll not let you refuse an offer like this nurse come and tie my neck tie so he went out and the nurse with him then the princess told the apprentice in a very great hurry who she was it would never do she said for him to see me home he'd find out that I was the princess and he'd ugly find me again in no time he shalt see you home said James I may be the stupid one but I am strong too how brave you are said or admiringly but I'd rather slip away quietly without any first can't you undo the patent lock of that window the apprentice tried but he was very too stupid and the princess was not strong enough I'm sorry said the apprentice who was a prince I can't undo the door but when he does I'll hold him and you can get away I dreamed of you this morning he added I dreamed of you too she said but you were different perhaps said James sadly the person you dreamed about wasn't stupid and I am are you really cried the princess I am so glad that's rather unkind isn't it said he no because if that's all that makes you different from the man I dreamed about I can soon make that all right and with that she put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him and at her kiss his stupidness passed away like a cloud and he became as clever as anyone need be and besides knowing all the ordinary lessons he would have learned if he had stayed at home in his palace he knew who he was and where he was and why and he knew all the geography of his father's kingdom and the exports and the imports and the condition of politics and he knew also that the princess loved him so he caught her in his arms and kissed her and they were very happy and told each other over and over again what a beautiful world it was and how wonderful it was that they should have found each other seeing that the world is not only beautiful but rather large that first one was a magic kiss you know said she my fairy god mother gave it to me and I've been keeping it all these years for you you must get away from here and come to the palace of your manager your clever now yes he said I am clever now I can undo the lock for you go my idea go before he comes back so the princess went and only just in time for as she went out the door the other door came in taken he was furious to find her gone and I should not like to write down the things he said to his apprentice when he found that James had been so stupid as to open the door for her they were not polite things at all he tried to follow her but the princess had worn the guards and he could not get out oh he cried if only my old magic would work outside this tower I soon would be even with her and then in a strange confused yet quiet your way he felt the spell that held him the white witch's spell was dissolved to the palace he cried and rushing to the culdron that hung over the fire he leapt into it leapt out in the form of a red lion and disappeared without a moment's hesitation the prince who was his apprentice followed him calling out the same words and leaping into the same culdron while a porner screamed and rung her hands as he touched the leker in the culdron he felt that he was not quite himself he was in fact a green dragon he felt himself vanish a most uncomfortable sensation and reappeared with a suddenness that took his breath away in his own form and at the back door of the palace the time had been short but already the magician has exceeded and obtaining an engagement as palace cook how he did it without references I don't know perhaps he made the references by magic as he had made the eggs and the apples and the hankachee takens astonishment and annoyance being followed by his faith for the prince was soon sewed for he saw that a stupid scullion would be of great use of course he had no idea that James had been made clever by a kiss but how are you going to cook after the apprentice you don't know how I shall cook said taken as I do everything else by magic and he did I wish I had time to tell you how he turned out a hot dinner of 17 courses from totally empty sourcemans how James looked in a cupboard for spices and found it empty and how next moment the nurse walked out of it the magician had been so long alone that he seemed to revel in the luxury of showing off to someone and he leapt about from one cupboard to another produced cacks and cook two's out of empty jars and made mice and rabbits disappear and reappear till James's head was in a whirl for all his cleverness the nurse as she washed up wept here's a pure joy at her boy's wonderful skills all this excitement's bad for my heart though taken said it last and pulling his heart out of his chest he put it on a shelf and as he did so his magic notebook fell from his breast and the apprentice picked it up taken did not see him do it he was busy making the kitchen lamp fly about a room like a pigeon it was just then that the princess came in looking more lovely than ever in a simple little morning frock of white chiffon and diamonds the beggar maid said taken looking like a princess I'll marry her just the same I've come to give the orders for dinner she said and then she saw who it was and gave one little cry and stood still trembling to order the dinner said the nurse then your yes said aura I'm the princess your the princess said the magician then I'll marry all the more and if you say no I'll aglify you as the word leaves your lips oh yes you think I've just been amusing myself over my cooking but I've really been brewing the strongest spell in the world marry me or drink the princess shrug it at least dreadful words drink or marry me said the magician if you marry me you shall be beautiful forever ah said the nurse he's a match even for a princess I'll tell papa said the princess sobbing no you won't said taken your father will never know if you don't marry me you shall drink this and become the scullery maid my hideous scullery maid and wash up forever in the lonely tower he caught her by the wrist stop cried the apprentice who was a prince stop me nonsense pluh said the magician stop I say said James who was full tunitus I've got your heart he had and he held it up in one hand and in the other a cooking knife one step nearer the lady said he and in goes the knife the magician positively skipped in his agony and terror I say look out he cried be careful what you're doing accidents happen so easily suppose your foot slipped then no apologies could it ever meet the case that's my heart you've got there my life is bound up in it I know that's often the case with people's hearts said for tunitus we've got you my dear sir on toast the princess might I trouble you to call the guards the magician did not dare to resist so the guards arrested him the nurse though in floods of tears managed to serve up a very good plain dinner and after dinner the magician was brought before the king now the king as soon as he had seen that his daughter had been made so beautiful had caused a large number of princes is to be fetched by telephone he was anxious to get her married at once in case she turned ugly again so before he could do justice to the magician he had to settle which of the princes to marry the princess he had chosen the prince of the diamond mountains a very nice steady young man with a good income but when he suggested the match to the princess she declined it and the magician who was standing at the foot of the throne step loaded with chains clattered forward and said your majesty will you spare my life if I tell you something you do not know the king who was a very inquisitive man said yes then no said taken that the princess won't marry your choice because she's made one of her own my apprentice the princess meant to have told her father this when she had got him alone and in a good temper but now he was in a bad temper in an infall audience the apprentice was dragged in and all the princess is agonized pleading only got his out of the king all right I won't hang him you shall be best man at your wedding then the king took his daughter's hand and set her in the middle of the hall and set the prince of the diamond mountains on her right and the apprentice on her left then he said I will spare the life of this aspiring youth on your left if you'll promise never to speak to him again and if you'll promise to marry the gentleman on your right before tea this afternoon the wretched princess looked at her lover and his lips form the word promise so she said I promise never to speak to the gentleman on my left and to marry the gentleman on my right before tea today and held out her hand the prince of the diamond mountains then suddenly in the twinkling of an eye the prince the diamond mountains was on her left and her hand was held by her own prince who stood at her right side and yet nobody seemed to have moved it was the purest and most high class magic dished cried the king absolutely dished a mere trifle said the apprentice modestly I've got takin's magic recipe book as well as his heart will I best make the best use of it I suppose said the king crossly bless you my children he was less cross when it was explained to him but the apprentice was really the prince of the fortunate islands and a much better match than the prince of the diamond mountains and he was quite good and temper by the time the nurse threw herself in front of the throne and begged the king to let the magician off altogether chiefly on the grounds that when he was a baby who you have the dearest little duck that ever was and in the prettiest played frock with the fattest loveliest legs the king moved by the his argument said I'll spare him if you'll promise to be good you will ducky won't you said the nurse crying no said the magician I won't and what's more I can't the princess who is now so happy that she wanted everyone else to be happy too begged her lover to make taken good by magic alas my dearest lady said the prince no one can be made good by magic I could take the badness out of him there's an excellent recipe in the notebook but if I did there'd be very little left except little helps said the nurse wildly prince fortuneusus who was James who was the apprentice studied the book for a few moments and then said a few words in a language no one present had ever heard and as he spoke the wicked magician began to tremble and shrink oh my boy be good promise you'll be good cry the nurse still in tears the magician seemed to be shrinking inside his clothes he grew smaller and smaller the nurse caught him in her arms and still he grew less and less till he seemed to be holding nothing but a bundle of clothes then with a cry of joy and trump and she tore the magician's clothes away and held up a chubby baby boy with very played frock and fat-legged she had so often and so lovingly described I said there wouldn't be much of him when all the badness was outside prince fortuneus I will be good oh I will said the baby boy that had been the magician I'll see to that said the nurse and so the story ends with love and a wedding and a shower of white roses