Welcome to today's episode of Calming Anxiety. Today, we explore the practice of happiness—reminding ourselves that joy isn't a future destination, but a choice available to us right now, in the space between our breaths.
The script
Transcribed from the audio, so the odd word may be off. Tap any line while it plays to keep the words in step with Martin's voice.
Hi there my friend, before we begin, just a quick word again about the app called Anchored, it's a dedicated app built around everything you love about this show, daily calm, guided sessions and some new tools that are unique that I've created. If you follow the link in the show notes to the GoFundMe, you'll become a founding member and with that you'll get free lifetime access to all the premium content. Head over to calminganxiety.org/anchored, there are updates on what the app looks like and how it will work. Thank you.
A genuinely huge thank you to everyone who has already donated and sent me the most beautiful emails. You are the reason I do this. Now let's begin. Happiness isn't waiting for you somewhere up ahead.
It isn't hiding behind the next achievement, the next holiday or the next version of your life. It's here, right now, in the space between one breath and the next. Today, we're going to find it and we're going to remind your song that joy isn't something that happens to you. It's something you choose, so let's choose it together right now.
Find your quiet place, somewhere comfy, somewhere to sit or lie down in a bed on a sofa in the car, wherever you are right now. And if it's safe, close your eye or simply soften your gaze downward. When you're ready, read in through your nose for a count of four. Be mindful at the top between the in and the out breath as we hold for two.
And then out slowly as always through the mouth. Today for a count of six. Ready? With me.
In. Two. Three. Four.
Four.
Four. Two. Release. Two.
Three. Four. Five. Six.
Breathe out slowly every time, feeling the muscles unwind. The tension in your shoulder and neck. Release. Again.
In. Two. Three. Four.
Four. Four. Four. Two.
Relax. Two. Three. Four.
Five. Six. Breathe out slowly. Feel that long, slow out breath.
Is your vagus nerve receiving the signal?
You are safe. The nervous system is settling. Today is already getting quieter. Now.
Let everything soften. Your shoulders, your jaw, the space behind your eye. I'd like you to imagine a morning, not a busy morning, but a slow one, the kind that happens before the world gets loud. Imagine yourself somewhere comfy.
Be it to your kitchen early before the world has woken up. Maybe it's a garden. Maybe your favourite chair by a window with a light coming in through the long golden strips across the floor. There is no rush here.
Nothing is asking anything of you. Just a few minutes, there is nowhere to be and nothing to do. In that quiet, notice something. There is a feeling in your chest.
Small, soft, easy, not dramatic, just warm, like an ember sitting quietly in there, steady and real. This is happiness at its most honest, not allowed frantic kind, but the real kind, gentle and present. Always there, even when the day has buried it under all the noise. Now I want you to bring something to mind, just one thing, one thing you genuinely love.
It doesn't have to be grand or important. The warm mug held in both hands. A favourite song, the feeling of the warmth the sunlight on your face. A person who makes you laugh without even trying.
Your dog, the smell of rain on warm concrete. Whatever it is, hold it gently now in your mind and truly let yourself feel it, not just think it, feel it. Let the warmth move from your chest into your shoulders, down your arm, into your hands. Let it spread light light through a room.
The feeling is real. It belongs to you. It is here, available to you every single day. If you choose to look for it, because happiness my friend is not a destination, it is a practice like any skill.
It grows stronger, the more attention you give it, and today we are practicing. So let's plant some words, some real truths, let them settle into the quiet and become a part of you. Repeat them with me, silently in your mind or whisper them if you like. Let each one land properly before we move on to the next.
I choose joy in the small moments of today.
I am allowed to feel good right now exactly as I am.
My happiness is not selfish, it is my natural state. I notice beauty, I receive warmth, I allow peace.
I am creating a life I genuinely love one small choice at a time.
Now just rest for a moment, allow those words to sink deeper, beyond thought, beyond effort.
You don't need to hold onto them. They are already going in. Just float in here for a breath or two.
Before we close, here are your three caring tips for a happier soul today. One, the 60 second joy spot. At some point today, spend 60 seconds doing absolutely nothing except experiencing something you love. Not scrolling, not multitasking, just fully present in a moment of simple pleasure.
The warm drink, fresh air on your skin. A song played, allowed, the feel of the air around you. The 60 seconds are pure presence. Two, the gratitude breath.
Breathe. Before you go to sleep tonight, take three slow breaths. With each exhale, name one thing that felt good about your day. Not something you achieved, just something that felt good.
To shift your brains overnight, processing away from the threat scanning and towards something much kinder. And three, smile first. This sounds almost too simple, but the science is solid. Smiling, even before you feel like it, sends a signal to your nervous system that you are safe and well.
So tomorrow morning, try smiling before anything else. Before the phone, before the news, before the day gets its hand on you. One quiet smile, just for you. And when you're ready, my friend, gently bring your awareness back.
Wiggle your fingers and your toes. Take a deep breath in and then let it go slowly. Carry this warmth with you today. Let it be the lens through which you see everything.
Thank you. If I can find it, some years ago I recorded another podcast, The Power of Smiling. It could be what you need. Thank you so much for putting your faith in trust in all that I do.
If you're new, please do subscribe. Please share this show on your social media. It is just me, there's no big corporation, there's no budget. I started six years ago and I have a lifetime ahead of me to share my thoughts.
I'm Martin, this is Calming Anxiety and in everything you do today, the kind.