I Can't Remember the Last Time I Felt Happy — A 10-Minute Meditation for Feeling Flat

Somebody asked you recently, how you were, and you said fine, and you meant it, because nothing is wrong. Nothing is wrong at all.

But later, heading home, or standing at the sink, a different question arrives on its own, and it's much harder.

When was the last time you felt happy? Not fine, not coping, not relieved that something was over. Really happy.

And you went looking for it. Last month, earlier in the year, further back than that, and you couldn't find it.

If that's you, my friend, nothing's wrong, nothing to complain about, and somehow, you can't remember really, the last time you truly felt happy.

Then stay with me. This is your 10 minutes. Hi there. This is Calming Anxiety. I'm your host Martin, former paramedic, and now clinical hypnotherapist.

Today's show lives inside the app, anchored, which is mine, and there's one small thing in, I'd point out for you today.

The daily check-in. It's just one tap. How you've actually been. Nothing to write, nothing to keep up. Because the reason that question hurts so much in the evening is that nobody has been keeping record. So today, to focus on you, we'll use the physiological side. And here's the wonderful thing about it.

Your body already does this, on its own, in the car, at the sink, at your desk, halfway through the afternoon.

You may already do something like this naturally when you sigh. We're simply going to use it deliberately for a few rounds.

So settle in. Allow the shoulders to drop. It's a normal breath in through the nose. Then that second, shorter sip of air at the top, followed by a long, slow release out through the mouth.

If you wish, let the release be audible. So ready? Let's breathe in through the nose. In, and the sip, and now a long, slow out breath through the mouth. A deep air, if you wish. And again, my friend. Breathe in, in, in, sip, and out.

A long, ah, let those shoulders drop a bit further. Let's do that one more time. Ready? Breathe in, and now, breathe it out, sink down into the surface below you.

No counting, no set rhythm. Just this beautiful little biohack that you can use wherever you are, and no one around you needs no.

Now let your breathing come back to normal. Maybe notice the small gap that's opened up, just a little room, where a minute ago there wasn't any.

Maybe practice this technique a few times a day until it becomes natural. Now, one quiet word before we go on. If this flatness has been with you a long time, a good few many months, rather than a fortnight, then do mention it to your GP.

Not because anything is wrong, just because it's reasonable thing to say out loud, to someone's who job it is to listen, because you've been carrying it on your own for long enough.

Now, here is what I'd like you to hold on to. You've been judging yourself for this feeling, because nothing in your life justifies it.

You have a roof, people who love you, work of a kind, so you ask yourself, what right have you got to feel flat? Every right, my friend.

Feelings do not check your circumstances before arriving. A person can have a perfectly good life and still not have felt anything moving them for a long time.

Those two things sit together quite comfortably and neither one cancels the other. Now, let's listen to these words and you don't have to believe them right away, as always, allow them to land to find their place deep within your soul.

See them in your thoughts as I say them and repeat them. Nothing is wrong with me for feeling flat.

I can't remember the last time I felt happy, but that is information, not a verdict.

I have been coping for a long time and coping is narrow work.

My capacity to feel really happy was never lost, it was simply crowded out.

I am allowed to want more than simply feeling fine.

I do not have to learn the right to feel better.

Today, I will make a little room for happiness.

Now relax, a little deeper, feel that out breath. The muscles unwind, the fibers loosen and lengthen.

Imagine drifting deeply into a natural, trance-like state. Deeper and deeper with every out breath, with every beat of your heart.

And then once more, imagine and repeat. My capacity to feel happy was never lost.

I am allowed to want more than just feeling fine.

Today, I make a little room for happiness to reside in.

To keep this with you, to build a foundation for a more positive way of thinking, of feeling and reacting.

Here are your three daily caring tips. One, notice one thing today that was simply not unpleasant, not a joy, not a highlight, just a not unpleasant thing, and let it register for three full seconds. Two, do one, completely ordinary thing more slowly than usual today. Whether that's a cup of tea or a shore walk, slowly enough that you are actually inside it whilst it happens.

Three, say one on a sentence out loud to one person. I've been feeling a bit flat lately and then just stop. No explanation, no apology. Now let's come back gently and mindfully.

Wiggle your fingers and your toes. Feel the weight of yourself on the chair or bed or the floor. Then breathe in deeply, hold and as you exhale. Roll those shoulders, stretch out the arms and legs.

And when you're ready, my friend, let your eyes open. You did well. That was not an easy one. If you want to make mindfulness, part of your day routine. Please do. Download Anchored There's a link in the shownote descriptions for iOS and the Play Store.

I wrote it so that you can set yourself free from the negative thoughts and anchors of your past because I was there once myself too. The free version gives you four shows a day and the always on access to instant calm. For those moments when you haven't got time to search for something, you press the blue button and I'll take care of the rest. Have a lovely day, truly.

Smile in the mirror, positive thoughts whenever you can. And then to your soul. Be kind.